So, just to let you all know... (sorry this is coming pre 'the end of my spring break' post)
Swine Flu is out there. Its here, in Mexico, and yes, so am I. But supposedly there are no cases found in my state of Coahuila (maybe the drug lords scared it away). The president did decide to shut down alllllll schools in the country in hopes of preventing the numbers of infected/fatalities from mushrooming any more than they already have. This means I am not in school until May 6 as of now. Its like a really long snow day, or another spring break immediately after the first, just not as filled with joy.... It was to be a long weekend this week already and two other teachers and I did book a trip to a resort in Acapulco.... yet to be decided whether we can go or not, having to fly through DF first... I'll keep you updated. Stay healthy
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
Easter Break Pics link
So far I have only loaded from Phoenix but I will update it later. Maybe tomorrow I will finish ...the rest of the story. (as the late Paul Harvey would say)
here's the link, check it back once the mexico portion of the week is up here!
http://picasaweb.google.com/millerbreanna/SemanaSanta09#
here's the link, check it back once the mexico portion of the week is up here!
http://picasaweb.google.com/millerbreanna/SemanaSanta09#
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Semana Santa - Week 1: PHX and Vegas, Baby!
The saga begins in Torreon. After school on Friday the 3rd, I frantically finished packing desperately hoping there was nothing I forgot. Victor and I then get picked up by his aunt and taken to Gomez Palacio, the neighboring town in which said aunt lives. We get all of her things together and do our best to squeeze the three of us and our belongings into one of the ever so small taxis here to the bus station. The luxury first class bus then drives us through northern Mexico to the safest city I know, Juarez. [If you are not so familiar with Mexican politics and goings-on, this is actually probably the most dangerous city. Recently acquiring something like 5,000 troops to try to quell the drug war. It is said that last year there were three times more murders there than in the most murderous city in the US. Almost entirely our fault though as the US is the largest consumer of Mexican heroine, cocaine, and methamphetamines, while at the same time being the largest supplier of weapons for them. I digress...]
A fairly uneventful, yet roomy, 10 hr ride later, we arrive at the border town. Victor's parents had driven there, and a cousin and her children also met us there to join in on the fun. So now we are - Victors parents, Tía Lily, cousin Bere, her children little Victor and Angela, Victor, and I. Eight in a four door F-150 (I believe), only slightly crowded, 5 in the back, 3 in the front. First meal back in the US, McDonalds breakfast, of course?!
After dozing on and off for the better part of the day, I was feeling lazy and just wanted to relax. Actually, come to think of it, that's pretty much how I felt all week! It was good to be in a comfortable home, complete with such pleasures as carpet, dryer, HDTV :), and food and entertainment that I am used to. All of this comfort of the US but still so much Spanish around! Victors family doesn't really ever speak English, his brother and sister of course use it almost all the time, while his parents know it but only use it with gringos, and his aunt and cousin don't really know it at all. Plus, South Phoenix has every other billboard in Spanish and the radio stations in Spanglish. It was fun! Especially to play with the kids, we laughed a lot. Victor only calls me Blue, so his whole family does as well; sometimes I was Azul, and sometimes Blue amongst the rest of the Spanish words in their sentence. I showed off some of my face tricks (if you know me, you know the ones) which were a big hit with the kids. From then on I couldn't be seen without hearing "Hazlo" meaning, do it! They're so cute!
Things we did: GoKart racing. which I apparently suck at ... at least I didn't crash ;) Going out to eat: In N Out which is only in AZ and CA, some really good pizza joints because they are lacking in Torreon, and Jamba Juice which I was excited about! Watching movies - two in theater and a few rentals. I am pretty behind in my pop culture trivia! Visit to the Cardinals Stadium. or Heaven as Victor calls it. Shopping! found some excellent deals got a few things, fun had by all.
On Friday the whole family (minus sister, plus me and plus brothers guest) packed up into two vehicles and headed for Vegas! There was a large stretch of stop and go traffic around Hoover Dam, and Cesar got pulled over for speeding, but otherwise uneventful drive. We were of course playing the 50 state game, looking for all the license plates (again, if you know me, this is a given). In the end we had 41 throughout the week, including both AK and HI! Once in Las Vegas and all settled into our hotel room, we hit up Circus Circus for their cheaper tables for the guys. True to Vegas form, we stayed out til all hours of the night. Slept in pretty late and then got ourselves tickets for the Deuce! We visited a few different hotels, rode on the NY, NY rollercoaster and got some gelato at the Venetian, which I was surprised was a pretty re-creation, complete with street performers and people getting married and serenaded in gondolas. Then unfortunately, even though 24 hours in Vegas almost seemed like enough :), it was time for me to head to the airport to catch my flight to my next spring break adventure.
From LAS to LAX to OAO.... to be continued.
A fairly uneventful, yet roomy, 10 hr ride later, we arrive at the border town. Victor's parents had driven there, and a cousin and her children also met us there to join in on the fun. So now we are - Victors parents, Tía Lily, cousin Bere, her children little Victor and Angela, Victor, and I. Eight in a four door F-150 (I believe), only slightly crowded, 5 in the back, 3 in the front. First meal back in the US, McDonalds breakfast, of course?!
After dozing on and off for the better part of the day, I was feeling lazy and just wanted to relax. Actually, come to think of it, that's pretty much how I felt all week! It was good to be in a comfortable home, complete with such pleasures as carpet, dryer, HDTV :), and food and entertainment that I am used to. All of this comfort of the US but still so much Spanish around! Victors family doesn't really ever speak English, his brother and sister of course use it almost all the time, while his parents know it but only use it with gringos, and his aunt and cousin don't really know it at all. Plus, South Phoenix has every other billboard in Spanish and the radio stations in Spanglish. It was fun! Especially to play with the kids, we laughed a lot. Victor only calls me Blue, so his whole family does as well; sometimes I was Azul, and sometimes Blue amongst the rest of the Spanish words in their sentence. I showed off some of my face tricks (if you know me, you know the ones) which were a big hit with the kids. From then on I couldn't be seen without hearing "Hazlo" meaning, do it! They're so cute!
Things we did: GoKart racing. which I apparently suck at ... at least I didn't crash ;) Going out to eat: In N Out which is only in AZ and CA, some really good pizza joints because they are lacking in Torreon, and Jamba Juice which I was excited about! Watching movies - two in theater and a few rentals. I am pretty behind in my pop culture trivia! Visit to the Cardinals Stadium. or Heaven as Victor calls it. Shopping! found some excellent deals got a few things, fun had by all.
On Friday the whole family (minus sister, plus me and plus brothers guest) packed up into two vehicles and headed for Vegas! There was a large stretch of stop and go traffic around Hoover Dam, and Cesar got pulled over for speeding, but otherwise uneventful drive. We were of course playing the 50 state game, looking for all the license plates (again, if you know me, this is a given). In the end we had 41 throughout the week, including both AK and HI! Once in Las Vegas and all settled into our hotel room, we hit up Circus Circus for their cheaper tables for the guys. True to Vegas form, we stayed out til all hours of the night. Slept in pretty late and then got ourselves tickets for the Deuce! We visited a few different hotels, rode on the NY, NY rollercoaster and got some gelato at the Venetian, which I was surprised was a pretty re-creation, complete with street performers and people getting married and serenaded in gondolas. Then unfortunately, even though 24 hours in Vegas almost seemed like enough :), it was time for me to head to the airport to catch my flight to my next spring break adventure.
From LAS to LAX to OAO.... to be continued.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Easter celebration
On the Friday before break, the whole school celebrated Easter. For the week prior, we painted all the egg shells the students brought, this turned out to be over 200! My assistant also made the cutest little easter baskets for them to each bring home 2 of the eggs along with some candy. The day of the party, we brought all the kids to a room in Primary to watch some of Pixar's shorts in order to kill some time for some of the teachers to hide the eggs around the preschool area, in the gardens, the playground, etc. As we walked them back over, there was a mad rush of kids scrounging to get as many eggs as they possibly could. It was so cute. And the tradition here is that the egg shells are found and then smashed over the heads of whomever crosses your path. The secondary kids got to put flour into their shells so theirs was a messier fight. It was quite funny to watch though. And of course the kids thought it was hilarious to get a teacher but being 3'+ taller than them we had to crouch down for them which takes away from the element of surprise but was still a good time. Then once that settled down a bit, Miss Charo got on the loud speaker and said that the Easter bunny was spotted in the sandbox! so all the kids mob over to that area, the opposite side we teachers know the bunny is coming from and clearly visible so it was kind of funny they all still ran over to check. then she said oh no, maybe she's in Miss Irma's room and so on until finally the bunny showed herself from the office door and the kids finally spotted her and then the whole mass bolted over to greet her. I can't imagine having been in that bunny suit seeing over a hundred little people rushing at me?! But the kids loved it. Then there was also cake served, funfetti, my favorite! among many others. Why not hop them up on sugars before sending them back to class for the last hour of the day?! Oh yeah, thats a great idea, let's also chuck candy into the crowd so they can get some more! So after all this excitement, they were sent back to the classroom and I was expected to do what with them?! haha, we played with toys after we got the room all back in order.
Here are the pics of the event:
Here are the pics of the event:
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Pamper Yourself and Take a Vaca (or 2)
I cannot believe it is already March 31. Tomorrow is April and that means that I only have 3 more months here in Mexico! It's gone by so quickly, but I am getting really close to the point where I am ready to get back. My behavior problem children are exhausting daily, our school does weird things a lot administration wise, and ... I miss shopping. It may sound weird but I was even talking to my assistant about it and she said she never goes clothes shopping in Mexico, most everyone here goes to TX for their shopping needs. I apparently didn't pack many things for warm weather, and I guess by warm I mean hot. Already, it has hit 100º, in MARCH! so I can only guess what has yet to come.Two weekends ago, four of us girls decided to take a weekend trip to Parras, only a short 3 hr bus ride away. It is home to the very first winery in the Americas, founded in 1597 and still churning out some good wines and brandys. We got to tour the place and taste test a few wines. It would be much prettier in May or so when the vines that cover every pathway are covered with leaves and bunches of grapes. We even bought a bottle of wine to share later. Our hotel was a cute little place with a tiny pool out back (not really workable, slightly dingy and very small and cold), but also in this courtyard were picnic tables and hammocks. Very peaceful and much needed recoup vacation. The town even has 3 estanques, or reservoirs that hold some of the springs they have there. The water was a fun part of the city, some of the streets have a little creek running right next to it, as in under peoples driveways. So no need to buy fountains for the water noises there, just crack open the window! We swam and laid out a bit at one estanque [surprisingly big, about 3 meters deep and I don't know how wide but quite, I wouldn't have swam to the other side] before we had to unfortunately head back for school.
The pathway with the vines over head, just barely budding

This is the lovely bottle opener we borrowed
from the lady across the street.
Doesn't everyone own a deer hoof bottle opener?
I just really liked this picture.
The estanque, I think this pic
doesn't quite show its size.
but it was lovely!
Just today I decided to get myself a manicure. They are so cheap here, as most things are - massages, pedicures, laser hair removal, etc. Thankfully Friday brings Spring Break as well. I am sooo stoked for 2 weeks without school! [this week also brings 2 paydays! the 15th falls on break so we get paid early] It was quite ironic that I am IN Mexico and couldn't decide what I should do for Spring Break. The biggest group is going to Mexico City, but I already stayed there for 3 weeks or so during college, so it felt a little 'been there done that.' Most other people have family coming down to meet them. I took up an offer to go to Phoenix to one of the fellow teachers houses for the first week. I have never been, and its no hotel cost, on top of being able to go shopping :) For the second week I am going to meet two teachers in Oaxaca, a southern state in Mexico. We plan to go beach hopping, maybe surf a bit?! catch some rays, whateve. Hopefully its a rejuvenating good time!
from the lady across the street.
Doesn't everyone own a deer hoof bottle opener?
doesn't quite show its size.
but it was lovely!
Monday, March 16, 2009
The Birds
It has been mentioned more than once that we are living in a house that feels as if it could be in the famed Alfred Hitchcock movie, The Birds. Upon entering our tree filled courtyard, you can not help but notice all the bird feathers and droppings littering the floor. Even, on occasion, a dead bird or two. I suppose it is not completely correct to put together this movie connection because we have yet to have a bird attack, but nonetheless they are there, they are abundant, they are annoying, and they are relentless. I can even [very unfortunately] tell time by these birds. Every morning, between the hours of 6 and 7 am, the birds gather in full force. This gathering always takes place in the lovely tree selection in our courtyard...of course. They chat it up, nonstop and without concern for those who are yet in slumber, until approximately 7:30am when they all decide to change their locale. With a sudden gust of wind being forced down from their spry little wings, I can hear their departure. Again [almost as unfortunate] their new location just so happens to be the other lovely selection of trees that are those in our school just up the block. So there they are, waiting for us when we arrive.
This daily occurrence would not be quite as annoying if it only happened when I was already awake, though undoubtedly, I would still take notice. Therefore, on school days, it isn't as bothersome since that is about the time I have to wake up, it only means that sometimes I get out of bed in a state of annoyance. On weekends, however, this is a very dreadful racket that lasts about an hour, while I am trying to get in some much needed sleep-in time. .... At least, they're persistent. ?!?
This daily occurrence would not be quite as annoying if it only happened when I was already awake, though undoubtedly, I would still take notice. Therefore, on school days, it isn't as bothersome since that is about the time I have to wake up, it only means that sometimes I get out of bed in a state of annoyance. On weekends, however, this is a very dreadful racket that lasts about an hour, while I am trying to get in some much needed sleep-in time. .... At least, they're persistent. ?!?
Saturday, March 7, 2009
februaryshmebruary
A whole month later and not much to report, can I point out that February is a short month though?! :)
I feel like there has become a pretty regular routine and not too many exciting/new things happened this last month that are really noteworthy. A basic day in the life of Breanna: I get up M-F around 6:30, try to get ready by 7:30 in order to get to school on time. Walk that short block to the school, go through the crazy ness of a day with my children, mostly referring to the large amount of misbehavior, and leave the school by 2:30. I get in an afternoon meal, third meal as we call it, maybe take a nap, maybe mess around on my computer maybe watch a movie, get in a fourth meal, and usually get to bed around 10:30. Weekends are more up in the air, but mostly consist of the same goings on as well - get together with friends, pretend we don't have school to think about and have some laughs.
I will highlight some things that have happened outside of the usual grind, in no particular order....
SuperBowl XLIII
It doesn't matter if I am in Mexico, I still got my Superbowl party. A bunch of our Torreon friends came over to the guys house (my neighbors) to watch the game. The thing that made it interesting was that Victor, one of the teachers here, is from AZ and the biggest superfan I have ever met. We got ready for the party by buying two cases of beer in the neighboring town [as Torreon is dry on Sundays and everyday after 9pm, so just a short drive to the nearest town....] the people that came to the house also brought two cases of beer so now there are approximately 96 bottles of beer in this house, not including the few 6-packs that were brought in by others. Too bad I don't like beer, huh!? The game itself was really good, close and unpredictable... The Cardinals did well, but not well enough for Victor. I have never seen anyone so upset about a professional team losing.... but besides that, it was fun to have the game on even if it was Spanish commentators and no super Superbowl commercials. And no school the next day!!! We had a 'puente' as they are called so we got to just chill for a three day weekend.
Santos
I finally made my first professional soccer game. I never took the opportunity while I was in Spain so I guess its about time! Victor, Erin, Cara and I got our only slightly more expensive scalped tickets to the big game a day ahead just to make sure we'd get it. It was a Santos vs Chivas game which is one of the more popular Mexico teams. Don't tell, I own a Chivas bag, because I of course went to cheer the Santos! :) Our sun tickets were quite the entertainment. The stadium itself is interesting, its small, only one level, and all the seats are cement stairs, so not marked just free for all first come kind of service, unless you pay bigger money of course. Our seats were very near the section that everyone knows you sit there if you are going to be crazy! It is a very large section that they don't even have to show up early to know they will get it, because like I said, you just know. Throughout the game I would find myself watching their section instead of the field. People would climb the fence, put off smoke bombs, play their many band instruments; their section was in constant noise and motion. It was a good game to watch and we kicked their butts!
Cerveceria
A group of about 15 of us got together and got our Colegio Ingles tour of the Corona factory. [I just thought it was funny that we put our school down as our name for the group:)] So we set off with our helmets and protective goggles, and our really nice tour guide. We got to taste test the raw barley as it was being emptied from one of the semi trucks... we got to sit in the chairs at the computers that did all the adding, mixing, creating... and then we got to taste the product before any bottle processing was done, as in uncapped straight from the vat freshest beer ever. Again, too bad I don't like beer! But it was fun to learn about the process and see it done, possibly even more fun since we half of us dressed up like them for Halloween :) Most interesting thing I remember was that yeast is probably the most important part. You add that at the end and let it create all the fizz through metabolizing and also excrete all the alcohol! without yeast, I don't know what it would be, nasty yellow water?! It was fun to walk past all the bottling things too. Too see the cans without the tops yet being filled at something ridiculous like 1400 cans per minute, and the bottles a bit slower but still really fast nonetheless. ( I don't remember the real number so don't quote me) And to see the six packs being made with the plastic rings put around them and then cased up.... interesting to watch for a tour but thinking about the people who we saw working.... I don't know how they can stand it day after day such monotony. At the end of the tour we regrouped in a cafeteria type room where they gave us the standard Mexico snack food: chips and hot sauce, along with a fridge full of a few different kinds of beer and soda. And All of that for free!!
Casa Sonrisa
Tom started a volunteer program every Saturday at a local orphanage so we can go help out those kids to learn English. We can go and teach different ages of kids and just hang out with them, give 'em some love. Its a pretty cool thing, especially since our school is so much the opposite. We get to see something 'real' for a change I feel. The kids are mostly really into it too, excited to take the opportunity.
That's all I can think of for big changes/happenings... It has been a pretty wonderful average of 90º most days, makes me wonder why people take MN, never been big on cold... Going to the pool and getting tan in February?! That's awesome. We have been having a bunch of grill outs too it seems. One day a few of the maintenance guys came over and cooked up some delicious costillitas... mexican ribs, though definitely not the same cut you think of when you hear ribs, their are much different, but no less delicious. And this is the kind of meat you rip off the bone, insert into tortilla and dress as you desire - lime and carmelized onions for me. Other times, we just grill bacon wrapped hot dogs :)
Otherwise, its been pretty standard. My kids are still giving me grief, one in particular. He had to recently spend the day with the principal, which I guess in another setting would probably have been called ISS (in school suspension). He didn't do anything, not one word written, I dont even think his pencil hit the paper all day, and on top of that he messes with everyone else to distract the whole class and cause me to stop teaching to try to get him under control. So I tell Miss Charo this and she says tomorrow with me. Is it a bad thing that I had a lot of fun finding all the work he could do that he has missed or refused to do to keep him busy in her office?! It was a really good day too which should prove to the school that he is too much to handle, and its not just me being a poor behavior management person... no one can handle him, not even his mother. At home life is also interesting... my roommate Emily put it best: we are living in a situation with the physical closeness of being a family but without the unconditional love of a family, so that causes stress/tensions/arguments/etc. I think we also all just want a break, most everyone says they are finding it harder to get up in the morning. It makes me wonder ... and wish I knew what I wanted to do with my life...
I feel like there has become a pretty regular routine and not too many exciting/new things happened this last month that are really noteworthy. A basic day in the life of Breanna: I get up M-F around 6:30, try to get ready by 7:30 in order to get to school on time. Walk that short block to the school, go through the crazy ness of a day with my children, mostly referring to the large amount of misbehavior, and leave the school by 2:30. I get in an afternoon meal, third meal as we call it, maybe take a nap, maybe mess around on my computer maybe watch a movie, get in a fourth meal, and usually get to bed around 10:30. Weekends are more up in the air, but mostly consist of the same goings on as well - get together with friends, pretend we don't have school to think about and have some laughs.
I will highlight some things that have happened outside of the usual grind, in no particular order....
SuperBowl XLIII
It doesn't matter if I am in Mexico, I still got my Superbowl party. A bunch of our Torreon friends came over to the guys house (my neighbors) to watch the game. The thing that made it interesting was that Victor, one of the teachers here, is from AZ and the biggest superfan I have ever met. We got ready for the party by buying two cases of beer in the neighboring town [as Torreon is dry on Sundays and everyday after 9pm, so just a short drive to the nearest town....] the people that came to the house also brought two cases of beer so now there are approximately 96 bottles of beer in this house, not including the few 6-packs that were brought in by others. Too bad I don't like beer, huh!? The game itself was really good, close and unpredictable... The Cardinals did well, but not well enough for Victor. I have never seen anyone so upset about a professional team losing.... but besides that, it was fun to have the game on even if it was Spanish commentators and no super Superbowl commercials. And no school the next day!!! We had a 'puente' as they are called so we got to just chill for a three day weekend.
Santos
I finally made my first professional soccer game. I never took the opportunity while I was in Spain so I guess its about time! Victor, Erin, Cara and I got our only slightly more expensive scalped tickets to the big game a day ahead just to make sure we'd get it. It was a Santos vs Chivas game which is one of the more popular Mexico teams. Don't tell, I own a Chivas bag, because I of course went to cheer the Santos! :) Our sun tickets were quite the entertainment. The stadium itself is interesting, its small, only one level, and all the seats are cement stairs, so not marked just free for all first come kind of service, unless you pay bigger money of course. Our seats were very near the section that everyone knows you sit there if you are going to be crazy! It is a very large section that they don't even have to show up early to know they will get it, because like I said, you just know. Throughout the game I would find myself watching their section instead of the field. People would climb the fence, put off smoke bombs, play their many band instruments; their section was in constant noise and motion. It was a good game to watch and we kicked their butts!
Cerveceria
A group of about 15 of us got together and got our Colegio Ingles tour of the Corona factory. [I just thought it was funny that we put our school down as our name for the group:)] So we set off with our helmets and protective goggles, and our really nice tour guide. We got to taste test the raw barley as it was being emptied from one of the semi trucks... we got to sit in the chairs at the computers that did all the adding, mixing, creating... and then we got to taste the product before any bottle processing was done, as in uncapped straight from the vat freshest beer ever. Again, too bad I don't like beer! But it was fun to learn about the process and see it done, possibly even more fun since we half of us dressed up like them for Halloween :) Most interesting thing I remember was that yeast is probably the most important part. You add that at the end and let it create all the fizz through metabolizing and also excrete all the alcohol! without yeast, I don't know what it would be, nasty yellow water?! It was fun to walk past all the bottling things too. Too see the cans without the tops yet being filled at something ridiculous like 1400 cans per minute, and the bottles a bit slower but still really fast nonetheless. ( I don't remember the real number so don't quote me) And to see the six packs being made with the plastic rings put around them and then cased up.... interesting to watch for a tour but thinking about the people who we saw working.... I don't know how they can stand it day after day such monotony. At the end of the tour we regrouped in a cafeteria type room where they gave us the standard Mexico snack food: chips and hot sauce, along with a fridge full of a few different kinds of beer and soda. And All of that for free!!
Casa Sonrisa
Tom started a volunteer program every Saturday at a local orphanage so we can go help out those kids to learn English. We can go and teach different ages of kids and just hang out with them, give 'em some love. Its a pretty cool thing, especially since our school is so much the opposite. We get to see something 'real' for a change I feel. The kids are mostly really into it too, excited to take the opportunity.
That's all I can think of for big changes/happenings... It has been a pretty wonderful average of 90º most days, makes me wonder why people take MN, never been big on cold... Going to the pool and getting tan in February?! That's awesome. We have been having a bunch of grill outs too it seems. One day a few of the maintenance guys came over and cooked up some delicious costillitas... mexican ribs, though definitely not the same cut you think of when you hear ribs, their are much different, but no less delicious. And this is the kind of meat you rip off the bone, insert into tortilla and dress as you desire - lime and carmelized onions for me. Other times, we just grill bacon wrapped hot dogs :)
Otherwise, its been pretty standard. My kids are still giving me grief, one in particular. He had to recently spend the day with the principal, which I guess in another setting would probably have been called ISS (in school suspension). He didn't do anything, not one word written, I dont even think his pencil hit the paper all day, and on top of that he messes with everyone else to distract the whole class and cause me to stop teaching to try to get him under control. So I tell Miss Charo this and she says tomorrow with me. Is it a bad thing that I had a lot of fun finding all the work he could do that he has missed or refused to do to keep him busy in her office?! It was a really good day too which should prove to the school that he is too much to handle, and its not just me being a poor behavior management person... no one can handle him, not even his mother. At home life is also interesting... my roommate Emily put it best: we are living in a situation with the physical closeness of being a family but without the unconditional love of a family, so that causes stress/tensions/arguments/etc. I think we also all just want a break, most everyone says they are finding it harder to get up in the morning. It makes me wonder ... and wish I knew what I wanted to do with my life...
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